Funny Jokes

 

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Joke: Can a camel go longer without sex or water?


Punch line: Water. They can go three weeks without a drink, but not a single day without a hump.


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Joke: Two men are playing golf together when they catch up to a couple of ladies who are playing very slowly. One of the men decides to ask them if they can play through but as he approaches them he realizes the women are his wife and mistress.

He tells the second man about the situation so the second man decides he will ask. He quickly turns around and says, "Small world."


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Joke: A blonde goes to the doctor and tells him she has been extremely moody lately and can't control her temper.

He suggests, "Sounds like stress. You should try getting some exercise. Run 10 miles a day and call me in a couple of weeks."

She does this and calls him in a couple of weeks, "I've been running every day and I do feel a little better."

He asks her, "And how's your family?"

She replies, "How would I know? I'm 140 miles away."


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Joke: The Lord said unto John, "Come forth and receive eternal life."

But instead John came in fifth and got a toaster.


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Joke: What does every pirate hate?


Punch line: A small chest with no booty!


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