Funny Jokes

Joke: What do you do if you are getting chased by a tiger, lion, and elephant chasing you on horseback?

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Banana!
Banana who?
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Orange!
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn't say banana!

Joke: A grandmother gives her grandson directions, "Once you get to the building open the door with your elbows. Once you get to the elevator his the up button with your elbow. I'm on the third floor so you're going to have to his the number 3 on the elevator with your elbow. Then once you get off I'm the first to the left, just hit the doorbell with your elbow."

The grandson replies, "That sounds easy enough, but why with my elbows?"

The grandmother says, "Oh... So you're going to be open handed?"

Joke: An old blacksmith realized he was going to have to retire soon, so he picked out a strong young man to become his apprentice.

The old fellow was crabby and exacting. "Don't ask me a lot of questions" he told the boy, "Just do whatever I tell you to do."

One day the old blacksmith took an iron out of the forge and laid it on the anvil. "Get the hammer over there. When I nod my head, hit it real good and hard."

The town is currently looking for a new blacksmith.

Joke: A cheap man goes to a restaurant with his wife and son. When he gets in he asks the host "How are your prices?"

The host replies "Well kids eat free."

The man replies "My son is really hungry, he's going to have three plates."