Funny Jokes

Joke: A man and his wife go to the doctor's office. After the doctor sees him he calls in his wife and she asks "Is my husband okay Doctor?"

The doctor replies "Well, he will be if you do everything I say. You have to prepare all of his meals for him every day. You also have to do all of his chores, never nag at him, and most importantly you must massage him three times a day. Do this for about a year and he will live."

Later in the car the husband asks his wife what the doctor said and she replies "He said you were going to die."

Joke: Two blondes fall into a hole in the ground. The first one says, "It sure is dark in here isn't it?"

The other blonde replies, "I don't know, I can't see."

Joke: "Sir, we're mining too many useless minerals!"
Hitler: "Mine less then..."
Awaiting Grammar Nazi barges in!
"Mine Fewer!"
Hitler: Yes?

Joke: What do you call an angry grandpa?

Joke: What do you call a deer with no eyes?