Funny Jokes

Joke: Do you know what happened to the blonde who tried to blow up her car?

Joke: A man gets pulled over for drunk driving and is put into handcuffs. The female police officer that pulled him over tells him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you."

He stumbles and yells, "Tits!"

Joke: Four ladies are sitting together talking about their sons. The first one brags, "My son is is a bishop, every time he walks into a room people say, 'Your excellence'."

The second lady brags, "My son is is a cardinal, every time he walks into a room people say, 'Your eminence'."

The third lady brags, "My son is is the pope, every time he walks into a room people say, 'Your holiness'."

The final lady says, "My son doesn't have a title, he weighs 500 pounds and is only 5 feet tall. But every time he walks into a room everybody says, 'Oh my god!'"

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Says!
Says who?
Says me, that's who!

Joke: A man and his wife are listening to a guy explain his religious beliefs saying, "Every time you die you are reincarnated as a different creature."

His wife replies, "I want to be a cow!"

The man says, "No, a different one."