Funny Jokes

Joke: A man is sitting in his living room when his so opens the front door of their house and yells, "Dad!"

The father quickly yells to the son, "If you want to talk to me get in here!"

The son runs in with his shoes on, "Sorry, where's the hose? I stepped in some dog poo."

Joke: What's the best way to burn 1000 calories?

Joke: A man tells his wife, "The neighbors hate us."

His wife asks, "Why?"

He says, "Remember the time we were making marshmallows and the fire broke out down the road and everyone rushed over to check it out?"

His wife replies, "Yeah?"

The man says, "We were still holding the sticks."

Joke: Girlfriend: What are you doing?
Mathematician: Just wrestling with these unknowns in bed.
Girlfriend: What?!
Mathematician: Yeah. Just a minute ago I was working out some models.
*Hangs up*
Mathematician: Oh you thought... Hello?

Joke: Why did the man get a new car for his wife?