Joke: A kid was in the hospital because he ate six plastic horses. The doctor described his condition as stable.

Joke: A man, his wife, and his son all go to a nude beach. Naturally, the young son has lots of questions. He runs to his father, "Dad! Dad! All of the women have these things hanging from their chests!"

His father tells him, "Son, those are breasts. The women with large ones are dumb and the small ones are smart."

Soon after the son comes running again, "Mom! Mom! All of the guys have these things dangling between their legs!"

The mom replies, "Those are called penis'. The men with the big ones are dumb and the men with small ones are smart."

A little bit later the son runs up to his mom and asks her, "Mom! Mom! Is being dumb contagious? Dad is talking to a really dumb lady and he keeps getting dumber and dumber."

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Amish!
Amish who?
You're not a shoe!

Joke: A man is walking down the road and another man runs up to him and asks him, "Do you want to see my talking ducks?"

The man, not wanting to be rude, decides to take a look.

When they arrive at the farm the man looks at one of the ducks and asks, "Hey little buddy, how's your day going?"

The duck replies, "Pretty good, I've just been in and out of puddles all day."

The man is amazed by the talking duck and asks the next one how his day has been. The duck replies, "Pretty good, I've just been in and out of puddles all day."

Stunned, the man asks a third duck the same question. The duck replies, "Shitty."

The man asks him, "Why is that?"

The duck replies, "I'm puddles."

Joke: Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups?

Joke: A priest was preparing a dying man for his voyage into the great beyond. Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the devil! Let him know how little you think of his evil!"

The dying man said nothing.

The priest repeated his order. Still the dying man said nothing. The priest asked "Why do you refuse to denounce the devil and his evil?"

The dying man said "Until I know where I'm heading, I don't think I ought to aggravate anybody."