Joke: Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Little Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."

Joke: A woman is at a gas station when she noticed a spaceship landing in front of her. An alien stepped out of the spaceship and started to pump gas into it.

The woman noticed that "UFO" was printed on the side of the ship. She turned to the alien and asked "Doesn't UFO stand for unidentified flying object?" The alien answered "No, it stands for unleaded fuel only!"

Joke: A guy walks into a bar and approaches another man at the counter and says, "I just fucked your mother. We did it in your bed and I came all over her. What do you think about that?" The other guy replies, "Dad, you're drunk."

Joke: What did zero say to eight?

Joke: What sexual position leads to the ugliest children?

Joke: A man has a girlfriend named Wendy so he gets her name tattooed on his penis. When his penis is erect it reads, "WENDY," but when it's flaccid it just reads, "WY."

While at a restaurant he goes to the bathroom next to a large Jamaican man. He looks over and notices "WY" on the mans penis. So he asks him, "You have a girlfriend named Wendy too?"

The man replies, "No man. It says, 'Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day'."