Joke: An elderly man thinks his wife is losing her hearing so he calls their doctor. The doctor tells him "We need to figure out how bad her hearing is. Using a normal tone, talk to her at various distances until she can hear you."

That night the man decides to try this. He estimates he is sitting about 30 feet from his wife and asks her, "What's for dinner?"

He hears nothing so he moves a little closer; about 20 feet away. He asks her again, "What's for dinner?" Still nothing.

Finally, he gets right next to her and asks, "What's for dinner?"

She finally hears him and responds "For the third time, chicken!"

Joke: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom?

Joke: Yo mama's so ugly, when she was born the doctor told her mother "Here's your treasure", and her mama said "Can we bury it?"

Joke: As a kid Chuck Norris burned ants with a magnifying glass... At night.

Joke: What's wrong with unemployment jokes?

Joke: A kid asks his dad, "What does gay mean?"

His dad replies, "It means happy."

The kid asks, "Are you gay dad?"

The father replies, "No, son. I'm married."