Joke: What do pirates say on their 80th birthday?

Joke: A prostitute is at a man's house after accepting payment. The man is in the bathroom taking a shower when the woman realizes she is on her period. She already accepted payment and the man is attractive, so she decides to turn the lights off and leave early in the morning.

They have some wild drunkin' sex and the woman leaves early in the morning. When the guy wakes up he sees a pool of blood next to him in the bed. "I must have shot her," he thinks to himself. But when he checks his gun it hasn't been shot.

Then he thinks, "I must have stabbed her." But when he checks the knifes in the kitchen their is not blood.

At this point he goes to the bathroom and looks up at himself in the mirror, "Oh no! I ate her!"

Joke: Yo mama's fat, her yearbook pictures were taken with Google Earth.

Joke: What's the best part thing about alphabet soup?

Joke: A man comes home to his wife watching a cooking show and says, "Why are you watching this crap? You can't cook."

She replies, "Well you watch porn."

Joke: Yo mama so fat that when she played Five Night's at Freddy's, Freddy couldn't stuff her in the suit!