7 ratings
0 saves

Joke: Joe and Emily are due to have a baby in a couple of months. Joe asks his wife, "Why haven't we had sex lately?"

"I'm scared its going to hurt the baby," Emily replies.

"People do it all of the time, I'll be gentile," Joe tells her.

Eventually Joe convinces Emily the baby will be fine so they have sex.

A couple of months later their baby is born. Immediately the baby asks the doctor, "Are you my father?"

"No, that's your father," the doctor replies pointing at Joe.

The baby looks at Joe and start to punch him in the face and says, "How do you like it?"


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89 ratings
3 saves

Joke: Tom's wife has been in a coma for months. Her attendants have noticed that every time they wash her crotch she moves a little bit. Desperate, they ask Tom if he would perform oral sex on his wife in an attempt to wake her up. Tom agrees and asks for some privacy in the room. Soon after, he rushes out in a panic and says, "I think she's choking!"


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19 ratings
1 saves

Joke: A guy sleeps with a $5 hooker and gets crabs.

The next day he goes back to complain and the hooker laughs and says, "What did you expect for $5... lobster?"


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43 ratings
2 saves

Joke: Knock Knock!
Who's there?
I'm the interrupting doctor!
The interr-
You have cancer.


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2 ratings
1 saves

Joke: Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Cash!
Cash who?
No thanks, I could go for some almonds though.


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2 ratings
1 saves

Joke: What did the axis say to the differentiable function?


Punch line: Your tan line is showing.


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