438 ratings
8 saves

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Europe!
Europe who?
No! You're a poo!


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78 ratings
20 saves

Joke: One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp.

Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However, because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate the most: your boss."

So the man agreed and made his first wish. "I want lots of money", he said. Instantly 22 million dollars appeared in the man's bank account and 44 million appeared in his boss' account.

For his second wish, the man wished for a couple of sports cars. Instantly a Lambergini, Ferrari and Porsche appeared. At the same time two of each car appeared outside of his boss' house.

Finally the genie said, "This is your last wish, you should choose carefully," and to this the man replied, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."


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77 ratings
2 saves

Joke: Yo mama's so ugly, the police gave her a ticket for not having tinted windows.


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80 ratings
22 saves

Joke: Two men are out hunting when one of them suddenly drops dead. He calls 911 immediately. The operator says "Can I help you sir?"

The man replies "I think my friend is dead! Get an ambulance! What should I do?"

The operator replies "Okay, calm down sir. First we have to make sure he is dead."

There is silence, then a gun shot, then the man comes back on "Okay, what now?"


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199 ratings
14 saves

Joke: A man has a curse, he is only able to say a single word every year. But if he doesn't say a word that year he can say two the next year, then three, and so on.

One day he meets a beautiful woman and wants to ask her to marry him, but he has no words saved up so he must wait four years.

So he waits four years and he is finally able to ask her the question. He looks her in the eyes and says "Will you marry me?"

She looks back at him with a smile and twinkle in her eye and replies "Come again?"


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95 ratings
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Joke: A Nobel Prize winning mathematician is traveling from university to university on a speaking tour by limousine. After several engagements the mathematician and his driver are having dinner and the driver says "I've heard your speech so many times I think I could give it word-for-word." The mathematician accepts the challenge and they switch places for the next speech; the driver dresses like the professor and the professor dresses as the driver and sits in the back of the auditorium.

The driver gives the speech flawlessly and opens up the floor for question, usually there are none. But one of the students at the university has a very large ego and decides to attempt to stump the Nobel Prize winner. After the student asks his question for ten straight minutes the driver laughs and says "That question is so simple I'll let my driver in the back answer it."


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