Joke: One night a cab driver picks up a nun. The driver stares at the nun for a while and finally asks "Can I ask you a question sister?"

The nun replies "Yes my son."

"I've always had the fantasy of a nun performing oral sex on me. Could you help me with that?"

The nun replies "Only if you are unmarried and Catholic."

The cab driver excitedly responds "Yes! I'm both!" So the driver pulls into the nearest ally and lives his fantasy.

Shortly after he starts to cry and admits "I'm Jewish and I'm married... I'm so sorry sister."

The nun shrugs and says "It's fine. My real name is John and I'm heading to a Christmas party."

Joke: Thomas has been feeling sick lately so he goes to his doctor. After he receives his check-up his doctor calls him in "Tom, I've got some bad for you..."

Tom quickly asks "What is it?!"

The doctor tells him "You have about twelve to live."

Thomas waits a moment and asks "Twelve what? Years? Months? Weeks?"

The doctor continues "Eight! Seven! Six!..."

Joke: A man and his wife are setting up the password on their new computer. The man types in 'MyPenis' but the computer denies it. His wife says "I told you it wasn't long enough!"

Joke: Student: Would you ever punish someone for something they didn't do?
Teacher: Of course not!
Student: Okay good, because my homework isn't done yet.

Joke: What is one math problem that no German person can get wrong?

Joke: Who is Iron Man interested in?