Joke: A man with a dog walks into a bank that has a sign reading "No dogs." A security guard walks up to him and asks "Did you read the sign? No dogs."

The man replies "I know. Someone should fix that. It should say one dog."

Joke: Yesterday Chuck Norris made the statement "1 plus 1 equals 3."

In other news all mathematical proofs were disproved today by contradiction.

Joke: Where do bugs go on a western vacation?

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Riverboat!
Riverboat who?
Riverboat young when I first saw you!
(Line from 'Love Story' by Taylor Swift)

Joke: Why did the man get a new car for his wife?

Joke: My friend and I were sitting at the bar and saw some old and sad looking drunks. I laughed and said "That's us in twenty years."

My friend slapped me and said "That's a mirror, dumbass."