Joke: What's purple and commutes?

Joke: What did the proton say to the other proton?

Joke: Where did the dentist go on his vacation?

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
I can say who!
I can say who who?
Do you always have to one up me?

Joke: Tyler and his wife Kallie go to Las Vegas. They get to their room and they find a card for a prostitute. Kallie cannot believe it and wants to see if the prostitute will really come. Tyler calls the number on the card and says "Can you come to Trump Hotel, room 1445?"

An hour later they hear a knock on the door and Kallie hides in the bathroom. A woman comes in and says "Hi. My name is Destiny."

Tyler asks her "How much do you charge?"

The prostitute replies "$500 per hour."

Tyler says "I was thinking more around $25" and the prostitute looks at him disguised and walks out.

Later Tyler and Kallie are at the bar getting drinks and Destiny walks up to Tyler and says "See, that's what $25 gets you!"

Joke: A man goes to church and tells the priest "Father, I almost cheated on my wife."

The priest asks him "How do you almost cheat on your wife?"

The man says "Well, me and the woman were naked but we just rubbed against each other."

The priest looks at him disgusted and says "Rubbing is the same as putting it in. Never do it again, say five Hail Mary's and put $100 in the donation pan."

The next time the priest sees the man he is infuriates "You didn't put $100 in the pan!"

The man looks at the priest disgusted and says "I rubbed the money against the pan, and rubbing is the same as putting it in."