Joke: What do you call a soot covered face, a large pickaxe, a hardhat, and overalls?

Joke: A little girl is digging a hole in her yard. Her neighbor looks over the fence and asks her what she's doing. She tells him, "I'm burying my goldfish."

The neighbor replies, "That's a mighty big hole for a little goldfish."

The little girl smiles at him and says, "Not if he's inside your cat."

Joke: A man calls home, "Hi honey, is mommy there?"

"No daddy, she's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle John."

"But you don't have an Uncle John... Go up there, knock on the door, and yell, 'Daddy's home!' Okay honey?"

"Okay," she sets down the phone and goes to her mother's door and yells what she was told. "Okay I did it."

"And what happened?"

"Mommy jumped out of bed naked, tripped, and now she's not moving. Uncle John jumped out of the window into the pool, and now he's not moving."

Very long pause

"Wait... Pool? Is this 555-5598?"

Joke: A brunette asked a blonde scuba diver why they jumped off of the boat backwards.

The blonde replied, "If I jumped forwards I would still be in the boat."

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Aardvark!
Aardvark who?
Aardvark a million miles, for one of your smiles.

Joke: Did you hear about the first time BDSM offender?