Math Jokes

Joke: Girlfriend: What are you doing?
Mathematician: Just wrestling with these unknowns in bed.
Girlfriend: What?!
Mathematician: Yeah. Just a minute ago I was working out some models.
*Hangs up*
Mathematician: Oh you thought... Hello?

Joke: One day, a mathematician decides he wants to be a firefighter. So he quits his job and applies to be a firefighter. But the chief doesn't think he is qualified so he gives him a test. He takes him to the alley and sets a dumpster on fire. He asks the mathematician, "What do you do?" The mathematician immediately grabs a hose and puts out the fire.

The chief then asks him, "Now that the fire is out, what do you do?"

Stumped, the mathematician thinks for a minute and says "I can reduce this problem into a problem with known solutions." With this he pulls out a match and sets the dumpster on fire.

Joke: Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

Joke: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?

Joke: A boy is looking up at the sky and sees something, but he doesn't know what it is. He asks his mother but she can't tell so she points him to his brother. But again his brother has no idea, so he points him to his father. Finally the boy asks his father, but his father has no idea either. So his father points him back to his mother.

At this point the boy knows what it is, because it takes 3 points to define a plane.