Dirty Jokes

Joke: A guy is going down on his girlfriend and says, "Man you have a big pussy! Man you have a big pussy!"

She snaps back, "Why'd you say it twice?"

He replies, "I didn't..."

Joke: A woman is golfing with a couple of her friends. On the first hole she sinks a twenty-foot putt. On her way to the second hole she gets stung by a bee. It is extremely painful so she runs off the course to find a doctor. She is extremely lucky and runs into one. He asks her, "Where did the bee sting you?"

She replies, "Between the first and second hole!"

He says, "Well first of all, your stance is way to wide."

Joke: A woman gets onto a bus and sits in front of a couple of Italian gentlemen. They talk very loudly but she ignores it. But a few minutes later she hears one of them say, "Emma comes first. Then I come. Then two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses come together again. I come again then pee twice. Then I come one last-a-time."

With this the lady turns around and says, "Excuse me! You perverts shouldn't be talking about sex on a bus."

One of them turns around and says, "Whose talking abouta sex? I'm justa teaching him how to spell 'Mississippi'."

Joke: How do people know masturbation is great?

Joke: How is a woman like a grammar Nazi?