Clean Jokes

Joke: It was so cold out today, I saw a lawyer put his hands in his own pockets.

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Sham!
Sham who?
Are you calling me fat?

Joke: A man approaches a blonde woman and asks her "Do you get many blonde jokes?"

She replies "No."

The man says "That's what I thought."

Joke: A blonde woman decides to start a handyman service to make some extra money. She walks around a wealthy neighborhood and walks up to the first house.

A man answers the door and she asks if there is anything she can do. He tells her "The porch need painted, how much would that cost?"

She replies "How does $50 sound?" He agrees and she gets to work.

When the man goes back into his house his wife asks him "Does she know the porch wraps around the house?" He tells her "She has to, she saw it."

About an hour later she comes to the door to collect her money. She says "I had extra paint so I put on two coats." The man is really impressed and gives her the money. She thanks him and says "And by the way, it's a BMW, not a porch."

Joke: A man is trying to find a spot to park at his favorite bar but it's to busy. After ten minutes of looking he looks up to the sky and says "God, if you get me a space I will pray every day and go to church every Sunday like I should."

Suddenly a great spot opens up right in front of him. He looks up again with excitement and says "Never mind, I found one."