Clean Jokes

Joke: What's green, fuzzy and can kill you if it falls from a tree?

Joke: What do you call a pile of kittens?

Joke: One day a man was waking along the beach when he tripped over a lamp. He turned around and kicked the lamp out of anger. A few seconds later, a genie popped out of the lamp.

Reluctantly, the genie said, "Even though you kicked me, I still have to give you three wishes. However, because of what you did, I will also give twice what you wish for to the person you hate the most: your boss."

So the man agreed and made his first wish. "I want lots of money", he said. Instantly 22 million dollars appeared in the man's bank account and 44 million appeared in his boss' account.

For his second wish, the man wished for a couple of sports cars. Instantly a Lambergini, Ferrari and Porsche appeared. At the same time two of each car appeared outside of his boss' house.

Finally the genie said, "This is your last wish, you should choose carefully," and to this the man replied, "I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."

Joke: How do you know if a road worker is stealing from work?

Joke: A man is on a long flight and he starts shaking. A flight attendant notices he is disturbed and asks him if she can do anything to calm him down. He says yes so she brings him a drink.

An hour later he is shaking again but even worse. So she gets him another drink and brings it to him.

Another hour goes by and now he is crying. The flight attendant approaches him and the man yells "Why are you people doing this to me?"

The flight attendant replies "Sir calm down, why are you so afraid of flying?"

The man replies "Flying? I'm trying to get sober!"