Clean Jokes

Joke: A man brings his girlfriend into his room and tells her to sit down "There is something I have to tell you."

She replies "What is it?"

He tells her "I don't want you to be my girlfriend anymore."

She immediately jumps up and screams at him "I never want to see you again!"

The man, dumbfounded, says to himself "Well that was a waste of a $5,000 engagement ring..."

Joke: Where do you find a dog with no legs?

Joke: What's green and spits out flames?

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
America!
America who?
Just kidding, freedom rings!

Joke: Somehow a dog gets lost in an African jungle. As he is finding his way a lion spots him. The lion thinks since the dog is so small he will be easy pray. When the dog sees the lion he gets extremely scared and starts to run but he sees some bones and gets an idea. As the lion approaches he says "Mmmm, that was some good lion." The lion immediately realizes this dog is a lot tougher than he thought and runs off.

But there was a monkey in a tree watching the whole time. The monkey decides if he tells the lion what had happened the lion might reward him. So he tells the lion and the lion tells him to get on his back so they can share the dog. As the lion and monkey find the dog, the dog spots them as well. The dog begins to run but has another idea, "Where is that monkey? I told him to bring me another lion hours ago!"