Clean Jokes

 

71 ratings
4 saves

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Juno!
Juno who?
Juno who it is!


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75 ratings
5 saves

Joke: A blonde woman goes to a shoe store and wants to buy some alligator shoes, but becomes angry when she sees the price. She storms out of the store saying, "I'm going to catch an alligator and get my own pair of shoes!" The shopkeeper laughs as he watches her leave.

Later as the shopkeeper is driving home, he sees the blonde in a swamp on the side of the road. A 10-foot alligator is swimming right at her but she swiftly knocks the alligator out. She drags it onto some grass where there are a dozen other knocked out alligators. She flips it over and yells, "Ah! This one's barefoot too!"


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54 ratings
10 saves

Joke: A police officer pulls over a car full of old women. He says "Mam, you realize you can't drive that slow on the highway. It's dangerous."

She responds "Isn't the speed limit 33?"

Laughing the cop says "No man, this is highway 33. That's not the speed limit." He looks into the back of the car and the women are frightened. He asks "What's wrong with them?"

The lady says "I don't know. We just came off of Highway 144."


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80 ratings
4 saves

Joke: A man is getting into a nice warm bath to relax. Once he is situated he hears the doorbell ring. He is mad but he gets up and dries off. As he is walking to the door he falls to the ground hurting his back. When he finally gets to the door the person at the door says "Oh, sorry. I think I'm at the wrong house."

The man is angry so he yells "Are you serious?"

The person at the door replies "Chill out man, you need to take a hot bath or something."


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46 ratings
11 saves

Joke: A man walks into a bar with his dog but the bartender says "You can't bring your dog into here!"

The man replies "but this is no ordinary dog. You see, this dog can talk. I'll prove it to you. What covers trees?"

The dog replies "Bark!"

He asks "What's on top of a house?"

The dog answers "Roof!"

Finally the man asks "Who's your favorite baseball player?"

The dog says "Ruth!" The bartender immediately throws them both out.

The man says "What was that guy's problem?"

The dog answers "Maybe he's not a fan of the Yankees."


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