Clean Jokes

Joke: A little girl is digging a hole in her yard. Her neighbor looks over the fence and asks her what she's doing. She tells him, "I'm burying my goldfish."

The neighbor replies, "That's a mighty big hole for a little goldfish."

The little girl smiles at him and says, "Not if he's inside your cat."

Joke: A grasshopper walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "Hey, you know we have a drink named after you."

The grasshopper replies, "Cool! Give me a Jamal!"

Joke: The Taco Bell Chihuahua, a Doberman and a Bulldog are in a bar having a drink when a great-looking female Collie comes up to them and says "Whoever can say liver and cheese in a sentence can have me."

So the Doberman says "I love liver and cheese." The Collie replies "That's not good enough."

The Bulldog says "I hate liver and cheese." She says "Still not good enough."

Finally, the Chihuahua says "Liver alone... cheese mine."

Joke: It had been snowing for hours when an announcement came over the intercom: "Will the students who are parked on University Drive please move their cars so that we may begin plowing."

Twenty minutes later there was another announcement: "Will the nine hundred students who went to move fourteen cars return to class."

Joke: What celebrity is great at creating probate documents?