Blonde Jokes

 

55 ratings
2 saves

Joke: A man and his blonde wife are sitting inside, by the fire, when the radio announcer comes on: "We are expecting up to a foot of snow tonight, please make sure you are parked on the even-numbered side of the road." The wife goes out and moves her car.

The next day the same thing happens, and the announcer comes on: "We are expecting up to a foot of snow tonight, please make sure you are parked on the odd-numbered side of the road." The wife goes out and moves her car.

A few days later the same thing happens and the announcer comes on: "We are expecting up to two feet of snow tonight, please make sure you are parked on the-" but the power goes out in the middle of the announcement.

The blonde freaks out, "Which side do I put my car on?!"

Her husband tenderly confronts her saying, "How about we just leave the car in the garage this time?"


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6 ratings
1 saves

Joke: What should you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?


Punch line: Run as fast as you can, she has a grenade in her mouth.


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15 ratings
0 saves

Joke: A blonde woman found herself in a blizzard and didn't know what to do. But suddenly she remembered some advice her father had given her, "If you ever get stuck in a snow storm, just follow a plow."

Surely enough a plow soon comes by and she follows it. Forty-five minutes later the man driving the plow pulled over and confronted the blonde "What are you doing?"

She replies "My dad said if I get stuck in a blizzard I should follow a plow."

The man with the plow snickers "Well I'm done with Walmart, you want to follow me to Target?"


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58 ratings
3 saves

Joke: What do you call a smart blonde?


Punch line: A golden retriever.


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74 ratings
24 saves

Joke: A blonde, brunette, and red head are waiting in front of the pearly gates when God comes out to greet them "Usually I wouldn't let any of you girls in, but I'm having a good day. I'll give you all a deal. If you can climb my 1000 stair staircase and listen to a joke at each step without laughing I'll let you in." They all agree.

The brunette loses at the 100th step. The red head loses at the 500th step. The blonde makes it to the 999th step and begins to laugh historically. God asks her "You were so close, why did you laugh?"

She replies "I just got the first one."


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