Joke #2275

Joke: Johnny came to school with a black eye so his teacher asked him what had happened. He told her, "My family doesn't have any money so me, my mom, and my dad all share a bed. My dad asked me if I was asleep yet and I told him no, so he hit me."

His teacher told him, "Tonight when you go to bed, if your dad asks you if you're awake just pretend to be asleep."

The next day Johnny came in with two black eyes. His teacher, appalled, asks him what happened. Johnny replies, "So I did what you said. Then the bed started shaking and my mom was yelling and my dad was grunting. After a while my mom yelled, 'I'm coming! Are you coming!' Then he yelled back that he was coming. But my parents never go anywhere without me, so I yelled, 'Wait for me, I'm coming too!'"

Joke: Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?" His mother replies, "The stork brings them." Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"

Joke: Sally has been feeling harassed by one of her coworkers, John. She tells her employer that he has been harassing her and he asks her, "What does he do?"

She says, "He always tells me my hair smells nice."

Her boss replies, "That's not really sexual harassment."

Sally says, "He's three feet tall."

Joke: A man driving down the road slams on his breaks and honks the horn because there is a car stopped in the middle of the road. He storms out of his car and looks inside of the parked car to see a naked couple laying inside. He yells at them, "What are you doing in the middle of the road?! Why didn't you move when I honked?"

The naked man in the car yells back, "You were coming, I was coming, and she was coming. You were the only one with brakes!"

Joke: What's the best part about a gypsy on her period?

Joke: A little girl and boy are in a doctor's waiting room waiting for the doctor. The little girl starts to cry so the little boy asks her "What's wrong?"

The little girl responds "I have to get a blood test so they're going to cut open my finger."

The little boy's jaw drops and he says "Oh no! I'm getting a urine test."