Joke #1335

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Joke: A man is walking home from work one day and in a dark alley is approached by a prostitute. She tells him, "Twenty dollars."

He had never been with a prostitute before but it was only twenty dollars. They start going at it in the alley when a couple of police come up with their flashlights and ask, "What are you doing? Are you aware prostitution is illegal?"

The man enraged yells, "This is my wife!"

The police officer replies, "Oh, I'm sorry sir. I had no idea."

The man replies, "Neither did I until you put the light in her face."


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Joke: An old man on crowded bus has trouble finding a seat. The bus careened down the avenue, shaking the passengers from left to right, and the old man, unable to support himself properly with his cane, fell to the floor. Little Johnny, sitting nearby, looked down at him and said, "If you put a little rubber cap on the end of your cane, you wouldn't fall like that. The old man looked up and replied, "If your daddy had done the same, I would have a place to sit on this stupid bus.


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Joke: Why did Burger King get Dairy Queen pregnant?


Punch line: Because he forgot to wrap his whopper


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She says, "He always tells me my hair smells nice."

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Sally says, "He's three feet tall."


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Joke: A man driving down the road slams on his breaks and honks the horn because there is a car stopped in the middle of the road. He storms out of his car and looks inside of the parked car to see a naked couple laying inside. He yells at them, "What are you doing in the middle of the road?! Why didn't you move when I honked?"

The naked man in the car yells back, "You were coming, I was coming, and she was coming. You were the only one with brakes!"


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