Joke #1138

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Joke: A man and his pregnant wife go to the doctor because she has started labor. When they arrive the doctor tells them of a great new invention he has made. He made a machine that can transfer pain from the mother to the father. The couple is ecstatic and quickly agrees, but the doctor warns the man, "Even 10% of the pain is probably more pain than you've ever felt."

They start at 10% and the husband is not effected at all. He insists they move it up to 50%. He is still not phased by the pain, but his wife is feeling a lot better. So he tells the doctor to give him all of the pain. The woman has her baby with no pain and they are all very happy.

When they get home the UPS man is dead on the porch.


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She says, "He always tells me my hair smells nice."

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Joke: A man driving down the road slams on his breaks and honks the horn because there is a car stopped in the middle of the road. He storms out of his car and looks inside of the parked car to see a naked couple laying inside. He yells at them, "What are you doing in the middle of the road?! Why didn't you move when I honked?"

The naked man in the car yells back, "You were coming, I was coming, and she was coming. You were the only one with brakes!"


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Joke: Three guys are hanging out at one of their houses when a terrible storm starts. It's so bad that they can't leave the house all night. So they decide to go to bed, the only problem is that there is only one large bed so they all have to share it.

When they wake up the next morning the guy who slept on the right says, "I had the best dream, a beautiful woman was giving me a handjob."

Next the guy who slept on the left side says, "That's weird, I had a dream where I was getting a handjob from a sexy lady."

The last guy, the one in the middle, frowns and says, "I had a dream I was skiing."


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Joke: What's the best part about a gypsy on her period?


Punch line: You get your palm red for free.


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