Good Jokes

Joke: A blonde woman has lived in Russia for many years. One day a government official comes to her and tells her, "Miss, quite a while back there was an error by a surveyor. You actually live in Ukraine."

The blonde replies, "Thank god! I don't think I could make it through one more Russian winter."

Joke: Jack be nimble and Jack be quick. But not even Jack could avoid Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.

Joke: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?

Joke: Scientists finally figured out why the universe is expanding... It is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.

Joke: A boy is looking up at the sky and sees something, but he doesn't know what it is. He asks his mother but she can't tell so she points him to his brother. But again his brother has no idea, so he points him to his father. Finally the boy asks his father, but his father has no idea either. So his father points him back to his mother.

At this point the boy knows what it is, because it takes 3 points to define a plane.