Good Jokes

Joke: Two guys walk into a bar. They look to the right and see a doctor, a priest, and a Rabbi. They look ahead and see a blonde, a brunette, and a red head. They look to the left and see a genie, a chicken, and a salesman.

One of the guys turns to the other, "Lets get out of here. This place is a joke."

Joke: What's the best way to choose a mattress?

Joke: A pharmacist goes out for lunch and when he comes back he finds a man sitting on the floor twitching. He asks his assistant, "What exactly is going on?"

His assistant replies, "This man came in looking for cough syrup."

The pharmacist replies, "Well, what'd you give him?"

The assistant replies, "Laxatives." The pharmacist asks why so and the assistant replies, "He doesn't want to cough anymore..."

Joke: Why did the computer crash?

Joke: A Jewish man is riding the train reading an Arab newspaper. His friend happens to also be on the train and confronts, "What are you doing reading that?!"

The man replies, "I got sick of the Jewish newspapers. All I ever read about was Jes living in poor conditions, Israel getting attacked, and Jews being persecuted...

Now that I read the Arab newspaper we rule the world! We control the media, run the banks, and are all wealthy. That's much better news!"