Good Jokes

Joke: Why did the mathematician want the 20011 square foot house?

Joke: There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit the hotel bar. Upon arriving to the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied "Everything is big in Texas."

A little later the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped and entered the third door. This door lead to the swimming pool and he fell in by accident.

Scared to death, he started shouting "Don't flush, don't flush!"

Joke: A pregnant woman asked her boss if she could have the day off because she wasn't feeling too well. He tells her the only way she is leaving work is if she starts her contractions. So she yells "Can't, didn't, won't, shouldn't, couldn't, wouldn't!"

Joke: A man is getting into a nice warm bath to relax. Once he is situated he hears the doorbell ring. He is mad but he gets up and dries off. As he is walking to the door he falls to the ground hurting his back. When he finally gets to the door the person at the door says "Oh, sorry. I think I'm at the wrong house."

The man is angry so he yells "Are you serious?"

The person at the door replies "Chill out man, you need to take a hot bath or something."

Joke: A blonde started riding a horse. She jumped right on and the horse took off. She soon lost control and began flailing her arms around trying to regain control; she thought she was a goner for sure. If it wasn't for the Walmart greeter unplugging it who knows what could have happened.