Funny Jokes

Joke: How do you know if a toilet is sick?

Joke: An old man lies on his deathbed as he holds his wife's hand, "Dear, these are my last moments. Please be honest with me. Our 5th boy, Donald, looks very different from all of the others. He has a different dad from the others, doesn't he."

Weeping, his wife cries out, "Yes! I'm sorry sorry!"

The man replies, "Who? Who is the father?"

The wife looks back at him deeply and says, "It's you..."

Joke: A blonde goes to the doctor and tells him she has been extremely moody lately and can't control her temper.

He suggests, "Sounds like stress. You should try getting some exercise. Run 10 miles a day and call me in a couple of weeks."

She does this and calls him in a couple of weeks, "I've been running every day and I do feel a little better."

He asks her, "And how's your family?"

She replies, "How would I know? I'm 140 miles away."

Joke: A man and his wife are listening to a guy explain his religious beliefs saying, "Every time you die you are reincarnated as a different creature."

His wife replies, "I want to be a cow!"

The man says, "No, a different one."

Joke: A man explains to his girlfriend that his pants were especially made for dancing. She asks him, "Ballroom?"

He replies, "Not much."