Funny Jokes

Joke: How are blondes like snowflakes?

Joke: 1. You can't wash yours eyes with soap. 2. You can't count your hair. 3. You can't breath through your nose with your tongue out. 4. You just tried # 3. 6. When you did 3 you realized it was possible, but you looked like a dog when you did it. 7. You're smiling right now because you were fooled. 8. You skipped # 5. 9. You just checked to see if there was a 5. Add a comment if I got you!

Joke: What is the best way to kill a hipster?

Joke: A woman and man get into a car accident. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of the wreckage, the woman says, "Wow, look at our cars - there's nothing left! Thank God we are all right. This must be a sign from Him that we should be friends and not try to pin the blame on each other."

The man replies, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely."

The woman points to a bottle on the ground and says, "And here's another miracle. Somehow this bottle of scotch from my back seat didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this scotch and celebrate our good fortune."

Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it, and drinks about a third of the bottle to calm his nerves. He then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"

The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police... I'll let them decide who's fault it is."

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Jurassic!
Jurassic who?
Jurassic man, so I brought you soup!
Jurassic = you're a sick