Funny Jokes

Joke: A woman is at a gas station when she noticed a spaceship landing in front of her. An alien stepped out of the spaceship and started to pump gas into it.

The woman noticed that "UFO" was printed on the side of the ship. She turned to the alien and asked "Doesn't UFO stand for unidentified flying object?" The alien answered "No, it stands for unleaded fuel only!"

Joke: Finding one of her students making faces at others on the playground, Ms. Smith stopped to gently reprimand the child. Smiling sweetly, the Sunday school teacher said, "Johnny, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Little Johnny looked up and replied, "Well, Ms Smith, you can't say you weren't warned."

Joke: My brother responded very badly to going to jail. He always yells at everybody, steals, and refuses to drink or eat.

It's the last time we play Monopoly.

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Euripides!
Euripides who?
Euripides pants and I'm gonna be mad!

Joke: Where does the general put his armies?