Funny Jokes

 

57 ratings
11 saves

Joke: A police officer pulls over a car full of old women. He says "Mam, you realize you can't drive that slow on the highway. It's dangerous."

She responds "Isn't the speed limit 33?"

Laughing the cop says "No man, this is highway 33. That's not the speed limit." He looks into the back of the car and the women are frightened. He asks "What's wrong with them?"

The lady says "I don't know. We just came off of Highway 144."


Show Your Support :)


Share This Joke:FacebookTwitterGoogle+

77 ratings
6 saves

Joke: A blonde woman goes to a shoe store and wants to buy some alligator shoes, but becomes angry when she sees the price. She storms out of the store saying, "I'm going to catch an alligator and get my own pair of shoes!" The shopkeeper laughs as he watches her leave.

Later as the shopkeeper is driving home, he sees the blonde in a swamp on the side of the road. A 10-foot alligator is swimming right at her but she swiftly knocks the alligator out. She drags it onto some grass where there are a dozen other knocked out alligators. She flips it over and yells, "Ah! This one's barefoot too!"


Show Your Support :)


Share This Joke:FacebookTwitterGoogle+

72 ratings
4 saves

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Juno!
Juno who?
Juno who it is!


Show Your Support :)


Share This Joke:FacebookTwitterGoogle+

101 ratings
10 saves

Joke: Little Tommy asks his mom if he can have some animal crackers. His mom gives him a box of crackers and tells him he can have a few. His mom leaves and comes back in a few minutes finding all of the crackers on the floor with Tommy looking through them. His mother asks "What are you doing Tommy?"

Tommy replies "It said don't eat if the seal was already broken. But I can't find a seal!"


Show Your Support :)


Share This Joke:FacebookTwitterGoogle+

84 ratings
19 saves

Joke: Emma didn't get very much sleep last night so she kept falling asleep at Sunday school. While she was sleeping, her teacher decided to ask her a question, "Who created the universe?"

The boy sitting next to her, Joey, poked her with his pencil to help her our. She jumped up and yelled, "God!"

The teacher told her, "Good job!" and continued with the lesson.

Soon after the teacher asked Emma another question, "Who died for our sins?"

Again she is sleeping so Joey pokes her. She wakes up and yells, "Jesus Christ!"

The teacher praises her again and continues.

Not much time passes and the teacher asks Emma, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?"

Joey pokes her and she yells, "If you put that thing near me again, I'll snap it in half and shove it up your ass!"


Show Your Support :)


Share This Joke:FacebookTwitterGoogle+