Funny Jokes

Joke: A police officer pulls over a car full of old women. He says "Mam, you realize you can't drive that slow on the highway. It's dangerous."

She responds "Isn't the speed limit 33?"

Laughing the cop says "No man, this is highway 33. That's not the speed limit." He looks into the back of the car and the women are frightened. He asks "What's wrong with them?"

The lady says "I don't know. We just came off of Highway 144."

Joke: A blonde woman goes to a shoe store and wants to buy some alligator shoes, but becomes angry when she sees the price. She storms out of the store saying, "I'm going to catch an alligator and get my own pair of shoes!" The shopkeeper laughs as he watches her leave.

Later as the shopkeeper is driving home, he sees the blonde in a swamp on the side of the road. A 10-foot alligator is swimming right at her but she swiftly knocks the alligator out. She drags it onto some grass where there are a dozen other knocked out alligators. She flips it over and yells, "Ah! This one's barefoot too!"

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Juno!
Juno who?
Juno who it is!

Joke: Little Tommy asks his mom if he can have some animal crackers. His mom gives him a box of crackers and tells him he can have a few. His mom leaves and comes back in a few minutes finding all of the crackers on the floor with Tommy looking through them. His mother asks "What are you doing Tommy?"

Tommy replies "It said don't eat if the seal was already broken. But I can't find a seal!"

Joke: Two men are out hunting when one of them suddenly drops dead. He calls 911 immediately. The operator says "Can I help you sir?"

The man replies "I think my friend is dead! Get an ambulance! What should I do?"

The operator replies "Okay, calm down sir. First we have to make sure he is dead."

There is silence, then a gun shot, then the man comes back on "Okay, what now?"