Funny Jokes

 

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Joke: Why can't pirates say their ABC's?


Punch line: They spend all of their time at C.


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Joke: A pregnant woman asked her boss if she could have the day off because she wasn't feeling too well. He tells her the only way she is leaving work is if she starts her contractions. So she yells "Can't, didn't, won't, shouldn't, couldn't, wouldn't!"


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Joke: What has a bottom at its top?


Punch line: Your legs!


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Joke: Why do chicken coops have two doors?


Punch line: If they had four doors they would be a chicken sedan.


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Joke: A pregnant woman wants her child to have very good manners. Every night while she's going to bed she rubs her stomach and says, "Be kind, be kind."

Nine months comes and goes and she doesn't have the baby. She refuses to have doctors look at her because it is against her believes. She dies at the age of 70 and still hasn't given birth. The mystery is solved when doctors inspect her. Inside of her womb they find two little men saying to each other "No brother, after you."


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