Funny Jokes

Joke: What did the penny say to the other penny?

Joke: Mrs. Smith asks her class, "What part of the body grows ten times larger when stimulated?"

The class is silent so the teacher asks them again. This time a little girl named Emily raises her hand, "Mrs. Smith, you shouldn't be asking seventh graders this kind of question. I'm going to tell my parents."

Mrs. Smith ignores her and calls on Jimmy. He answers, "The pupil in your eye."

Mrs. Smith replies, "Very good Jimmy," then she turns to Emily, "Now for you young lady, I have three things to tell you. First, you have a very dirty mind. Second, you didn't do your homework. Third, you are going to be very disappointed."

Joke: A woman is pulled over and the officer asks her for her license. He looks at it and says "Ma'm, your license says you should be wearing glasses?"

The woman replies "I have contacts sir."

The officer gets mad and yells "I don't care who you know, you're getting a ticket!"

Joke: Doctor: "Nurse, how is that little girl who swallowed ten quarters last night doing?"
Nurse: "No change yet."

Joke: A blonde walks into a New York bank and asks for a $1,000 loan for a month long trip to Asia. The loan officer tells her "You are going to need some collateral if you want a loan."

The blonde tells him "I'll leave my Rolls Royce, it's worth $200,000." The bank accepts the security and laughs at her for leaving such an expensive car for such a small loan.

When she comes back from her trip she goes to the bank and repays her loan plus interest, coming to $1,020. The bank manager smirks at her and asks "We know you are a millionaire, why would you get such a small loan and use such an expensive car for collateral?"

The blonde looks at him and smiles "Where else can I park my car in the city for a month for $20?"