Funny Jokes

Joke: A man is with his wife on his deathbed. He leans towards her, "Honey, I have one last wish. After I die, marry Joe."

She replies, "I thought you hated Joe?"

He looks her deeply in the eyes and with his last breath says, "I do."

Joke: A gymnast walks into a bar... She gets deducted 5 points.

Joke: How is life like a box of chocolates?

Joke: Why are people in the middle of the ocean yelling "Shark!" stupid?

Joke: An elderly man thinks his wife is losing her hearing so he calls their doctor. The doctor tells him "We need to figure out how bad her hearing is. Using a normal tone, talk to her at various distances until she can hear you."

That night the man decides to try this. He estimates he is sitting about 30 feet from his wife and asks her, "What's for dinner?"

He hears nothing so he moves a little closer; about 20 feet away. He asks her again, "What's for dinner?" Still nothing.

Finally, he gets right next to her and asks, "What's for dinner?"

She finally hears him and responds "For the third time, chicken!"