Joke: What's E.T. short for?

Joke: A man saw a TV that was on sale for $1. The only issue was that the volume was stuck all the way up. The salesman asked him if he would like to purchase it, to which he replied, "I can't turn it down."

Joke: A blonde, brunette, and red head are all spies and are caught behind enemy lines. They are all tied up in front of a firing squad.

As they are about to shoot the brunette yells "Tornado! Tornado!" All of the men run off to wait the tornado out and the brunette manages to escape.

Seeing what she had done the red head devises her own plan and when they return she yells "Earthquake! Earthquake!" Again all of the men scatter to wait it out and the red head escapes.

The blonde, being the genius she is, devises her own plan. As soon as the men return she yells "Fire! Fire!"

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Radio!
Radio who?
Radio not, here I come!

Joke: What's the most important part of an underwear joke?

Joke: How are men like spiders?