Joke: A man is sitting on his porch when he notices two blondes working down the road. They both have shovels. One of them digs a hole and the other immediately fills it in. The man watches them for a few hours and finally approaches them, "You guys look like you're working hard. But I'm not sure what you're trying to accomplish."

One of the blondes replies, "Well there's usually three of us, but the one that plants the trees is sick."

Joke: Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?

Joke: How are opinions like assholes?

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
John Danglerdoo!
John Danglerdoo who?
Really, how many John Danglerdoo's do you know? Let me in it's cold out here.

Joke: A man goes into a library and asks the librarian, "Do you have any books for dudes with little dicks?"

She replies, "We have one, I don't know if it's not in yet."

The guy frowns, "That's the one..."

Joke: A 90 year old woman goes on a date with a 91 year old man. When she gets home to her daughter she tells her "I had to slap him 4 times."

The daughter asks "Was he getting fresh?"

The old woman replies "No, I thought he had expired!"