Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
The polite interrupting cow.
The polite inter...
Excuse me! I'm sorry to interrupt, but moo!

Joke: Two boys, John and Tommy, walk into a candy story. While in the store John steals 4 candy bars and puts them in his pocket. When the boys leave John brags, "I stole 3 candy bars, beat that!"

Tommy says "No problem, just follow me." They go back into the store and Tommy approaches one of the shopkeepers.

He asks the shopkeeper, "Would you like to see some magic sir?" The man says yes and Tommy immediately opens 4 candy bars and eats them as fast as he can.

The shopkeeper, who is now angry, asks "Where is the magic?"

Tommy replies "The candy bars are now in my friend's pockets."

Joke: A man goes to an assassin because his wife is sleeping with his best friend. The assassin tells him, "It's going to cost you $1000 per bullet."

The man says, "What if you miss?"

The assassin replies, "I don't miss."

With this they head off to the motel where his wife is with his friend. The man says, "I want my wife shot in the head and I want you to blow my friends dick off."

The assassin takes aim and waits a few minutes, "Aren't you going to shoot?"

The assassin replies, "Hold up, I think I can save you $1000."

Joke: A doctor receives a phone call from one of his colleges, "Hey, we need a fourth for poker."

The doctor replies, "I'll be there."

His wife asks him, "Is it serious?"

He replies, "There's already three doctors there and they need me."

Joke: What's the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist?

Joke: Water: Oleic acid, I don't think I can be with you.
Oleic acid: Is it because I'm fat?