Joke: Winning an argument with you is like running a race in the special Olympics ...

Joke: A doctor told a man, "You're going to have to stop masturbating."

The man asked him "Why?"

The doctor replied "It is extremely distracting."

Joke: Yo mama's so ugly, she turned Medusa into stone.

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Olive!
Olive who
Olive you!

Joke: Why was the student angry that he got points off his paper for formatting?

Joke: A devout Christian named Tom is on his deathbed. His pastor arrives and comes into his room. As soon as the pastor steps in Tom's condition worsens. The pastor quickly hands him a piece of paper to write one final message on. Tom quickly scribbles a message and shoves it back to the pastor. The pastor thinks it would be better if he waits to open the message so he puts it in his pocket. Tom dies.

At Tom's funeral the pastor decides to share his final note with everyone. He pulls it out and reads it aloud, "Asshole! Get off of my oxygen tube!"