Joke: Yo mama's so fat, not even Dora can explore her!

Joke: There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit the hotel bar. Upon arriving to the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied "Everything is big in Texas."

A little later the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped and entered the third door. This door lead to the swimming pool and he fell in by accident.

Scared to death, he started shouting "Don't flush, don't flush!"

Joke: Chuck Norris was suppose to die 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him.

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Says!
Says who?
Says me, that's who!

Joke: Little Timmy is walking home from the park and pulling his little red wagon up a hill. As he is getting tired he says "Damn. Fuck this shit."

A nun from the church nearby tells him "Little Timmy! You shouldn't swear like that. God is everywhere and always watching you."

"So he is up in the clouds and in the church?" asks little Timmy.

"Exactly," replied the nun.

Timmy asks "And in my wagon?"

The nun replies "Yes child."

Timmy is suddenly enraged "Well tell him to get his lazy ass out and push!"

Joke: An antique dealer is walking through town and sees a cat drinking milk from a saucer in a shop window. He is shocked when he realizes that the saucer is very rare and expensive.

He enters the shop and asks the owner "Hey, I really like the cat. Would you be willing to sell it to me?"

The store owner replies "Not for sale."

The antique dealer thinking quickly responds "I'll give you $100 for it."

The shop owner agrees and the antique dealer grabs the cat. He acts like he is about to leave then adds "Oh, would you mind throwing in the saucer, the cat seems to like it."

The shop owner replies "No, that's my lucky saucer. I've sold hundreds of cats since I got it."