Joke: Why did the dog cross the road twice?

Joke: A blind man walks into a bar and sits for a while with nobody talking to him. He says "Anybody want to hear a blonde joke?"

The bartender tells him "Before you tell it I just want to let you know there is a cage fighting blonde on one side of you and a large blonde softball player on the other side. I'm also a blonde and I can bench 300 pounds. Do you still want to tell that joke?"

The blind man replies "Obviously not! I don't have time to explain the joke 3 times."

Joke: There is a blonde, brunette, and a red head running away from a bad guy and they decide to hide in a barn. They all quickly find hiding spots. The red head hides behind a cow, the brunette hides behind a horse, and the blonde hides behind a sack of potatoes.

The bad guy comes in and when he passes the cow the red head says "Moo!". When he passes the horse the brunette says "Nay!" Finally he comes to the potatoes and the blonde says "PO-TA-TOE!"

Joke: Three girls are sitting together at a bar: a blonde, a brunette, and a girl with green hair. A man walks up to them and says "You girls have beautiful hair. Do you dye it?"

The blonde looks at him and runs her hand through her hair saying "It's all natural."

The brunette looks at him and runs her hand through her hair saying "It's all natural."

Finally the green haired girl sneezes into her hand and runs her hand through her hair saying "It's all natural."

Joke: A woman is pulled over and the officer asks her for her license. He looks at it and says "Ma'm, your license says you should be wearing glasses?"

The woman replies "I have contacts sir."

The officer gets mad and yells "I don't care who you know, you're getting a ticket!"

Joke: A pastor is standing before his congregation, "It has come to my attention that somebody has been telling lies about me. Somebody has been saying I am a member of the Ku Klux Klan. This is simply not true! Who has been telling this lie?"

Everybody is silent for a while. He speaks again, "Come on now, face your sins so you can be forgiven!"

Suddenly a drop dead gorgeous blonde rises and says, "I think somebody misunderstood me. I've been telling people that you are a wizard in the sheets."