Joke: A woman with brown hair goes to the doctor and tells him "Doctor! I think something is really wrong. My entire body hurts when I touch it." She touches her arm, legs, and stomach screaming in pain each time.

The doctor looks at her for a second and asks "Do you dye your hair?"

The woman surprised says "Yeah I'm naturally blonde. How did you know?"

The doctor replies "That's what I thought, your finger is broken."

Joke: Why shouldn't you tell an egg a joke?

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Raymond!
Raymond who?
Raymond me again, what was I supposed to get at the store?
Raymond = remind

Joke: A washed up actor hasn't gotten a job in years. He has lost his ability to remember lines. But after looking for work for a very long time, finally he gets the lead role in a Broadway musical.

When he arrives at the theater the director tells him, "You have the most important part, but you only have one line. You walk onto stage with a rose; bring it close to your nose with your thumb, index, and middle fingers; and sniff it deeply. Then you will say, 'Oh, the smell of my lover.'"

When it comes time for him to say his line he walks onto stage and says, "Oh, the smell of my lover." With this the crowd begins to laugh hysterically and the director explodes with anger.

The actor runs off stage and asks, "Did I forget my lines?"

The director replies, "No! You forgot the flower."

Joke: What is thin, white and scary?

Joke: Why didn't Platinum fit in with Gold and Silver?