Joke: Why can't a hemiacetal maintain a healthy relationship with its family?

Joke: Yo mama's so ugly, she went to take a bath and the water jumped out!

Joke: An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders 1/2 a beer, the third orders 1/3 a beer, the fourth orders 1/4 a beer. The bartender interrupts "Get out! Are you trying to suck me dry?"

Joke: There's nothing worse than pooping in an elevator. It really takes shit to a new level.

Joke: A blonde, brunette, and red head are waiting in front of the pearly gates when God comes out to greet them "Usually I wouldn't let any of you girls in, but I'm having a good day. I'll give you all a deal. If you can climb my 1000 stair staircase and listen to a joke at each step without laughing I'll let you in." They all agree.

The brunette loses at the 100th step. The red head loses at the 500th step. The blonde makes it to the 999th step and begins to laugh historically. God asks her "You were so close, why did you laugh?"

She replies "I just got the first one."

Joke: Johnny is on his grandpa's farm in the rabbit enclosure. The ground is covered in rabbit droppings. Johnny asks, "What are all of the pellets on the floor grandpa?"

His grandpa replies, "Oh those? Those are smart pills. You eat them and you get smarter."

Johnny likes the sound of that so he grabs a large handful of them and shoves them into his mouth, "Yuck! Grandpa, these taste like crap."

His grandpa replies, "You're getting smarter already."