Joke: Why did the dalmatian need glasses?

Joke: What's the best way to burn 1000 calories?

Joke: Yo mama's so fat, her patronus is a cake!

Joke: How many guys in the friend zone it take to screw in a light bulb?

Joke: Why did the dog cross the road twice?

Joke: A man runs into a hospital and yells, "Help! I'm shrinking!"

One of the nurses sits the man down, "We're very busy here today sir, you're going to have to be a little patient."