Joke: What is a caterpillar afraid of?

Joke: A bunch of nuns die in a freak accident. When they arrive to heaven they meet Saint Peter at the pearly gates. The first nun approaches him.

"Sister, have you ever touched a penis?" he asked.

The nun blushes and says "Well, once I touched one. But just with my finger tip."

Saint Peter says "Just dip your finger tips in the holy water and all will be forgiven." He asks the next nun the same question.

She replies giggling "Well, I gave a man a hand job once."

"Just dip your hands into the holy water and all will be forgiven," he says again.

Suddenly there is a lot of movement among the nuns. "What is going on?" Saint Peter asks.

One nun comes forward and says "If I'm going to have to gargle the holy water I'm doing it before Sister Mary dips her ass in it!"

Joke: A king is going on a very long trip. He wants to keep his wife faithful so he has a chastity built made for her. This is a very special belt because inside there is a miniature guillotine that cuts off any man's member who tries to get through it.

When he returns from his trip he tells all of his men to pull down their pants and he discovers that all but one of them are missing their members. The one man that still has his member is Sir John.

The king says "Good sir, you are the only man who I can trust. If you want anything just say the word."

Sir John replies "UNG! UH! UNG!"

Joke: A police officer pulls over a car full of old women. He says "Mam, you realize you can't drive that slow on the highway. It's dangerous."

She responds "Isn't the speed limit 33?"

Laughing the cop says "No man, this is highway 33. That's not the speed limit." He looks into the back of the car and the women are frightened. He asks "What's wrong with them?"

The lady says "I don't know. We just came off of Highway 144."

Joke: A man owns a rabbit farm and is known around the world for his rabbits who can lift more than any man. A little boy asks him "How do you keep your rabbits so strong?"

The man replies, "It's no secret." He pulls out a bottle of shampoo and says, "Keeps your hares strong!"

Joke: What does somebody who has dyslexia, insomnia, and schizophrenia think about?