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Joke: Why is water jealous of citric acid?


Punch line: Citric acid is a lot buffer.


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44 ratings
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Joke: A little elderly lady goes to the doctor because she has been having a problem. She tells him "Doctor, lately I have been farting almost constantly. They don't bother me much because they don't smell or make noise, but it is still annoying. I've farted a hundred times since I got here, I bet you didn't know."

The doctor sends her home with some pills and she returns a week later. Angrily she tells him "Doctor! These pills you gave me have made my gas smell terrible. I don't want to take them anymore!"

The doctor smiles and replies "Great. Now that we have cleared your sinuses we can take care of that hearing problem."


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Joke: A guy and a girl are just finishing up having sex in the guys dorm and the girl turns in says "I can't believe I did it! I'm not a virgin anymore."

The guy hears her and asks "So I was your first?"

She replies "Yeah, I always told myself I would wait for the man I loved, my soul mate."

The guy smiles and asks "So you really love me?"

The girl answers "God no! I just got over that silly dream."


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22 ratings
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Joke: A panda walks into a bar and after thinking it over, the bartender lets him stay. The panda eats his dinner and asks for a check. He looks at the check, nods his head, and shoots the waiter in the knee. The bartender runs over and looks at the table. The panda had left an open dictionary of the table, turned to the page with 'panda' on it. He reads the description "Panda; n. Large mammal from central Asia. Eats shoots and leaves."


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Joke: A guy was sending dirty photos to his girlfriend, but he accidentally sent a photo of his bottom half to his grandma. She had bad sight so he didn't think much of it. Later that week she calls him and says "You're looking good, but I don't like your haircut. It makes your nose look too big."


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435 ratings
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Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Europe!
Europe who?
No! You're a poo!


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