Joke: Why was the function not scared of getting differentiated?

Joke: Why are chemists so partial to nitrates?

Joke: Three elderly men are sitting together and discussing what they want their family and friends to say when they are lying in their casket at their funeral.

The first man says "I want them to say I was a great father and a great friend. I want them to say I could always be counted on."

The second guy says "I just want them to talk about how much I changed the world, and how I left it a better place."

The third man says "I want them to look right at me and say: 'Look! He's moving!'"

Joke: A guy is getting busy with a call girl and he finds a piece of corn. He gags a little bit but gets over it and continues going down on her. But he later finds a chunk of carrot and says "I'm going to be sick."

The prostitute looks at him and says "Huh, that's what the last guy said!"

Joke: Why did Adam take the apple from Eve?

Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Suspense.
Suspense who?
...... Ah!