Joke: A girl walks up to her father and asks him, "Daddy, what's sex?"

He looks at her and decides it's time. So he tells her about the birds and the bees, masturbation, sperm, pregnancy, and STD's. After a lengthy speech he asks her, "So what made you ask about sex?"

She replies, dumbfounded, "Mommy said lunch would be ready in a couple of sex."

Joke: A brunette asked a blonde scuba diver why they jumped off of the boat backwards.

The blonde replied, "If I jumped forwards I would still be in the boat."

Joke: Three dudes are talking about their wedding nights. The first says, "I got way too drunk. Out of habit I handed her $50 when we were done. She called me a 'whore monger' and ignored me the entire honeymoon."

The next guy says, "Same here. I got wasted and after we had sex I gave her $60. She slapped me and didn't talk to me for a week!"

The third guy says, "I've got you both beat."

One of the other guys asks, "Yeah, how?"

He replies, "I got totally smashed on my wedding night. After we had sex I handed my wife $100... She gave me $70 change."

Joke: Sometimes I think my family is racist. They caught me having sex with a black girl and none of the kids would talk to me. Then my wife told me to pack my bags and go.

Joke: Two men were walking through a forest and spotted an aggressive looking bear. The first man took his running shoes out of his backpack and started to put them on. The second man said "You really think you can outrun that bear?"

The first man replied "Don't have to... I just have to outrun you."

Joke: A man walks into his doctor's office. His doctor tells him, "Your wife's results came back positive. I can't remember if it was AIDS or Alzheimer's though."

The man replies, "That's not very helpful. Can you just test her again?"

The doctor replies, "How about you leave her in the middle of the forest and if she finds her way home don't fuck her."