Joke: Knock knock!
Who's there?
Sham!
Sham who?
Are you calling me fat?

Joke: A man finished baby-proofing his house and his wife says "Aw, honey. You said you didn't want to have kids."

He responds "I know. Let's see them get in now."

Joke: A vulture is boarding a plane carrying a couple of dead raccoon. But before he is able to get on the attendant tells him, "I'm sorry sir, you're only allowed one carrion."

Joke: On the way home from work a woman stops at a pet store. She sees a parrot and immediately falls in love with it. She asks the salesperson, "Can I get the parrot?"

The salesperson replies, "Of course, but I do have to warn you the parrot lived in a brothel. So he has picked up some colorful language."

The woman doesn't care so she buys the bird and brings it home. Once home, she puts the bird's cage on a shelf and uncovers it. The bird says, "A new madam! Hello madam."

A few hours later her daughters come home and the bird says, "New girls! Hello girls!"

A few hours after this the woman's husband comes home and the parrot says, "Hi Tom!"

Joke: What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean?

Joke: Why is Yoda afraid of 7?